Aware Drops By For Drinks
(scene: LCM is sitting alone in the corner booth scanning the morning papers for his or Mumsey's name - Aware1 approaches...)
Aware1: I thought I saw something here about escaped criminals and that got my erm, *attention* up, but they must have moved on. Feh!
LCM: (looking up from his paper) AAAAAK! (patting wig, regaining composure) Oh hello, sweetie - I see you've still got that bridesmaid outfit on from Princess' Thursday night birthday gala. (lips pursed, giving the once-over) You know, darling, I'm not one to offer fashion advice but I feel compelled to say it's Tuesday now, and no matter how fetching the pattern, you must avoid wearing things past their "best before date." (patting wig) It's something I learned in France, darling - don't ever buy panties with the names of the *months* printed on them. It's very misleading and not a bit helpful in the long run. (smiling, handing drink) But since you're here, darling - come and have a drink with LCM, sweetie - I'm just looking through the morning tabs to see if Mumsey and I were mentioned. (vaseline smile) We weren't. (putting away papers) Monday nights aren't the jet set rage they once were, it appears. (sipping cocktail) I don't know what's becoming of the kids these days, darling - I remember Monday nights at 54 with Andy and Liza and Halston - it was (using quotey fingers) "Ladies Night" and we nearly always had to pay double. (tossing head back and laughing) Ah-hahahahaha!
Aware1: LCM rocks, by the way.
LCM: (patting wig) Oh now really, sweetie - you'll make me blush. (pausing, attempting, feeling dizzy, slumping over) Oh dear. (regaining balance) I've always have trouble with modesty, sweetie - it's like some people are good at it, but it's always felt like "acting" to me, and you know how I'm completely into the method, and most of the time I just don't have the time to be that introspective. (blink blinking) Well it's not that I *can't* be, sweetie - I mean my court-ordered therapist is forever bragging me up at her conventions. (smiling) I keep telling her to stick with me and she'll get two or three book deals out of it as long as she doesn't hassle me about the booze and pills.
Aware1: Softley crooning in your ear.. no, I said *crooning* dammit! It's kind of exciting to look around and see that I'm at the Center of the Known Universe, woot!
LCM: (vaseline smile) Thank you, darling - you know, when I first started coming here, the Boom Boom Room was a D-list hangout at best. (waving vaguely around the room at the non-stars) Now look - the D list is long gone and it's just ripe for the fashionable set to step in. (patting wig) I'm still trying to get a velvet rope put up outside - we tried a nylon one last week, but the neighbours kept hanging wet clothes on it the next morning. (tossing head back and laughing) Ah-hahahaha!
Aware1: Ok, here's a question for you, my darling - will you be putting together another Boom Boom Room Karaoke CD this year?
LCM: (smiling slyly) Oh now, darling - I don't want to spoil the surprise, of course, but it's very likely. (patting hand) You know how I am during the holidays - decked to the halls and gushing comfort and joy. (eyes darting) I haven't finalized the playlist yet of course, but I'm thematically thinking "Girl Groups On Acid"! Isn't that fabulous! (pouring another drink) But that's for another day. In the mean time, let's have a few more cocktails and I'll tell you about the time Mumsey went drag racing with Diana Ross and ended up on Larry King. (pausing) And I mean him, darling - not his show. That was later, after I posted bail.
Having The Smart Cocktails And Looking Great
{{{{{LCM}}}}}
Centre of the Known Universe
Aware1: I thought I saw something here about escaped criminals and that got my erm, *attention* up, but they must have moved on. Feh!
LCM: (looking up from his paper) AAAAAK! (patting wig, regaining composure) Oh hello, sweetie - I see you've still got that bridesmaid outfit on from Princess' Thursday night birthday gala. (lips pursed, giving the once-over) You know, darling, I'm not one to offer fashion advice but I feel compelled to say it's Tuesday now, and no matter how fetching the pattern, you must avoid wearing things past their "best before date." (patting wig) It's something I learned in France, darling - don't ever buy panties with the names of the *months* printed on them. It's very misleading and not a bit helpful in the long run. (smiling, handing drink) But since you're here, darling - come and have a drink with LCM, sweetie - I'm just looking through the morning tabs to see if Mumsey and I were mentioned. (vaseline smile) We weren't. (putting away papers) Monday nights aren't the jet set rage they once were, it appears. (sipping cocktail) I don't know what's becoming of the kids these days, darling - I remember Monday nights at 54 with Andy and Liza and Halston - it was (using quotey fingers) "Ladies Night" and we nearly always had to pay double. (tossing head back and laughing) Ah-hahahahaha!
Aware1: LCM rocks, by the way.
LCM: (patting wig) Oh now really, sweetie - you'll make me blush. (pausing, attempting, feeling dizzy, slumping over) Oh dear. (regaining balance) I've always have trouble with modesty, sweetie - it's like some people are good at it, but it's always felt like "acting" to me, and you know how I'm completely into the method, and most of the time I just don't have the time to be that introspective. (blink blinking) Well it's not that I *can't* be, sweetie - I mean my court-ordered therapist is forever bragging me up at her conventions. (smiling) I keep telling her to stick with me and she'll get two or three book deals out of it as long as she doesn't hassle me about the booze and pills.
Aware1: Softley crooning in your ear.. no, I said *crooning* dammit! It's kind of exciting to look around and see that I'm at the Center of the Known Universe, woot!
LCM: (vaseline smile) Thank you, darling - you know, when I first started coming here, the Boom Boom Room was a D-list hangout at best. (waving vaguely around the room at the non-stars) Now look - the D list is long gone and it's just ripe for the fashionable set to step in. (patting wig) I'm still trying to get a velvet rope put up outside - we tried a nylon one last week, but the neighbours kept hanging wet clothes on it the next morning. (tossing head back and laughing) Ah-hahahaha!
Aware1: Ok, here's a question for you, my darling - will you be putting together another Boom Boom Room Karaoke CD this year?
LCM: (smiling slyly) Oh now, darling - I don't want to spoil the surprise, of course, but it's very likely. (patting hand) You know how I am during the holidays - decked to the halls and gushing comfort and joy. (eyes darting) I haven't finalized the playlist yet of course, but I'm thematically thinking "Girl Groups On Acid"! Isn't that fabulous! (pouring another drink) But that's for another day. In the mean time, let's have a few more cocktails and I'll tell you about the time Mumsey went drag racing with Diana Ross and ended up on Larry King. (pausing) And I mean him, darling - not his show. That was later, after I posted bail.
Having The Smart Cocktails And Looking Great
{{{{{LCM}}}}}
Centre of the Known Universe
posted by LCM @ 8:00 p.m.
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